Metaphor Schizophrenia

 

By Denise Loock

 

Imagine yourself in an elevator with a stranger. She coughs several times, then blows her nose into a crumpled tissue and stuffs it into her pocket. Moments later, she pulls a few  cough drops out of the same pocket and offers you one. Do you take it? Probably not. Who knows what germs are smeared all over it.  

Agents and publishing representatives don’t want to accept a disease-ridden manuscript either. Newer authors, and even some seasoned ones, submit articles and books that belong in a sick bed, not on an editor’s desk. Manuscripts can be infected with many maladies, but a common one is metaphor schizophrenia.

A metaphor is a figure of speech in which a word or phrase denoting one kind of object or action is used in place of another to suggest a likeness or analogy between them—an implied comparison.

And who doesn’t love a memorable metaphor? God loves metaphors. He uses powerful images such as the sower and the seed, the lamb of God, salt of the earth and light of the world. Metaphors such as fruit of the Spirit and the body of Christ help us learn how to live out our faith.

However, as Sir Ernest Gowers wrote in The Complete Plain Words, “The very seductiveness of metaphors makes them dangerous … Sometimes metaphors become so overtaxed that they become a laughing-stock and die of ridicule” (75).

Schizophrenia, which literally means “split mind,” is a mental disorder characterized by disturbances in thought (delusions), perception (hallucinations) and behavior. When authors create an illogical comparison (known as a mixed metaphor), the reader’s mind is split in two because he cannot form a reasonable picture of the concept. The repeated use of these fantastical images creates a manuscript illness I call metaphor schizophrenia.     

Example: As members of the body of Christ, we are to produce the fruit of the Spirit.

Do you know of any person that can produce fruit? I don’t either. So don’t mix that metaphor. Try this instead: As members of the body of Christ, our goal is to work together as harmoniously as a pianist’s fingers.

Example: Life is a battle. If we don’t step up to the plate and hold the line, we’ll never finish the race.

That’s a lot of metaphors (and clichés). What picture is the author trying to paint in a reader’s mind? A soldier running into battle with a baseball bat in one hand and a rope in the other? Better: Life is a battle. If we don’t protect ourselves with the armor of God, we’ll be vulnerable to Satan’s attacks.

Connecting with readers requires clarity and relatability. That’s why Jesus used metaphors and parables. But mixed metaphors create confusion, causing readers to misunderstand your point or miss it entirely.

Cure your manuscript of metaphor schizophrenia with this prescription:

1.      Make a list of every metaphor you use in your manuscript. (If you haven’t used any, that’s another malady.) Eliminate all clichés and check the accuracy of all idioms at idioms.thefreedictionary.com. Get rid of any metaphor that doesn’t clarify what you mean or create a fresh, memorable image.

2.      Make a list of memorable metaphors you find in books and articles. What makes them work? What do they contribute to a character or to the author’s point?

Metaphors add color to your black-and-white manuscript. But use them judiciously and accurately.

 Photo by Jon Tyson on Unsplash

 

 

Denise Loock is the owner of Lightning Editing Services. As a freelance editor, she helps published and unpublished writers create clean, concise, and compelling manuscripts that will attract publishers and intrigue readers. She teaches Editing Devotionals 101 and Sentence Diagramming 101 for The PEN Institute and is the director of PENCON, the only annual conference for Christian proofreaders and editors.