Before You Share that Personal Story – 5 Questions to Ask
By Lori
Hatcher
But what about
personal stories? The experiences—good, bad, and ugly—that helped make us who
we are? Or someone else’s story that provides the perfect illustration for the
point we want to make? Can we tell these stories? Should we tell these stories?
Before you take
pen (or computer) in hand and bare all, please consider these five questions:
Five Questions
to Ask Before You Share that Personal Story
1.
Do
I have permission to share?
Traditional
publishers require authors to get permission from everyone they’ve written
about unless they’ve altered the names and details enough to completely obscure
the person’s identity. My rule of thumb is not to write anything about anyone
that I wouldn’t feel comfortable reading aloud to them.
2.
Will
I hurt anyone?
Perhaps
more important than the question Can I share this story? is the
question, Should I share this story? Some stories, especially those that
happened to you, fall within your legal right to tell them. If you do, however,
you may harm someone else. If the answer to this question is yes, ask God to
show you an alternate way to make your point.
3.
Is
now the right time to tell?
Many
write out of deep personal trauma or crisis. Capturing the events, thoughts,
and spiritual lessons learned in times of trial can be cathartic. The process
of writing can bring about healing. But don’t rush the process. Just because
you’ve written about your experience doesn’t mean you’re ready to share your
writing with others. Be sure you’re free of anger, bitterness, and vengeance.
Give the Lord time to do His work in your heart and life. Then He can use your
writing to bring health and healing to others.
4.
Is
this the right audience with whom to share?
Effective
writers know our audience and tailor our message to their needs. When we’re
reader-focused, we choose the stories that will benefit them, not those that
will benefit us. You may have a sensational story, but if you have to stretch
to connect it to the truth your readers need to hear, perhaps you should choose
another.
5.
Has
God released me?
You may have a story that passed all four of the above questions. You’ve gotten permission from the others involved, and you’re confident you won’t hurt anyone by telling it. God has freed you of bitterness or anger, and the story perfectly fits the needs of your audience. Still, as you pray over your writing (you do pray over your writing, don’t you?) you just don’t have a peace about sharing it. Every time you type the words, you feel a check in your spirit. Don’t ignore this.
God’s
Spirit within us knows not only how our stories affect us, but how they’ll
affect everyone who reads them. Once we send our words out into the world, we
can’t retrieve them. Therefore, we must trust the Spirit to tell us when the
time is right to share them. And if the time is right to share them.
Some stories may be intended for you alone—and that’s okay.
Stories have an
amazing power to connect us to our audience, communicate spiritual truth, and
build relationships. They also have the power to cause harm, either
intentionally or unintentionally. We are wise to choose and share our stories carefully.
Now it’s your
turn. How do you decide which stories to share in your writing? Leave a comment
below and share your thoughts.
Thanks Lori. I used to hear this a lot in seminary when they talked about using your family as examples. Some pastors and teachers listened better than others.
ReplyDeleteTim Suddeth