How to Cure Blather Infection

 

By Denise Loock

 

As we approach the 2022 midterm elections, it seems appropriate to highlight a disease that plagues speakers and writers: blather infection.

 

Do you know anyone who can talk for 15 minutes and say nothing?

 

Writers have a similar problem.

 

By definition, to blather is to talk foolishly or nonsensically. According to etymonline.com, it comes from an Old Norse word meaning, “to mutter; wag the tongue.” For writers, foolish talk refers not only to writing that lacks intelligence but also to writing that lacks judgment. Blathering includes irrelevant or insignificant information as well as too much of it.

 

Symptoms

The best writers give readers everything they need to know and not one word more.

 

Charles Dickens’ first sentence in A Tale of Two Cities is 119 words long. But who remembers anything beyond the opening run-on: “It was the best of times, it was the worst of times”? 

 

Herman Melville’s opening sentence in Moby Dick is far more evocative: “Call me Ishmael.” We won’t go beyond that, though, because he was as fond of overstuffed sentences as Dickens.

 

One of my favorite sentences is J. R. R. Tolkien’s opener in The Hobbit: In a hole in the ground there lived a hobbit. This is a rule-breaker that works. Why? It builds suspense. Tolkien is introducing a new species. Giving readers a frame of reference for this new creature is vital. So he provides that information before we reach hobbit, which still occupies the sentence’s most important role: the subject.

 

Diagnosis

Here are two Blather Infection examples from manuscripts I edited:

 

Blather version: The Bible says that Jesus wants us to love each other, to care about others’ feelings and desires, to reach out and be a friend to others. That’s what we really need to do if we’re going to have an impact that matters in our world.

 

Better version: Love one another.

 

Blather version: What are we going to do about the world in its present state of affairs? What about all the horrible atrocities of slavery or the Holocaust? What about terrorism? Just one champion like Joan of Arc, without the judgmental attitudes of naysayers—that’s what we need to get something accomplished like ending world hunger.

 

Better version: Solving global problems starts with addressing local ones. Volunteer at a soup kitchen or tutor a child in an after-school program.

 

Remedy

Read 350–500 words of your manuscript. If it’s a blog post or devotion, summarize your point in one sentence. Eliminate anything that doesn’t advance that point. If it’s fiction, summarize a scene or a conversation in a sentence or two. Eliminate anything that doesn’t advance the plot or develop character.

Be ruthless in your examination:

• 
  How much detail is necessary for the reader to understand the point I’m making?

 

• Does each personal example I include add something new, or does it reiterate a previous point?

 

• What new insights into character does this scene provide? How is it moving the plot forward?
  

 

• What does this information contribute to this scene or section?

 

• If I remove this information, will the reader be confused?

 

• Can this information be provided elsewhere?

Blather infection is curable, but the treatment regimen is painful. You may have to cut out your favorite word, sentence, or illustration. The prognosis, however, is excellent. Your manuscripts will attract more publishers and engage more readers.

(Photos courtesy of FreeDigitalPhotos.net and Stuart Miles.)

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Denise Loock shows us as writers how to cure blather infection. via @DLoock (Click to tweet.)

Denise Loock is an editor, author, and inspirational speaker. She is a general editor for LPCbooks, a division of Iron Stream Media. She also accepts freelance editing projects from writers who want to submit clean, concise, and compelling manuscripts to publishers (lightningeditingservices.com).

 

Denise is the author of two devotional books, Open Your Hymnal and Open Your Hymnal Again, which highlight the scriptural truths of classic hymns and gospel songs. She is the founder of Dig Deeper Devotions, a website that encourages Christians of all ages to dig deeper into the Word of God. Three collections of devotions from the website are available on Amazon: Restore the Joy: Daily Devotions for December, Restore the Conversation: Fifty Devotions on Prayer, and Restore the Hope: Devotions for Lent and Easter.

Denise teaches two online PEN Institute courses: Sentence Diagraming 101 and Editing Devotionals 101. She also writes “Mind Your MUGS,” a grammar and usage column for Christian Communicator.