Lazy Rivers

 By Kevin Spencer

The Doobie Brothers wrote the song “Black Water” about building a raft and floatin’ on the Ol’ Mississippi. It talks about jumpin’ catfish, thumpin’ paddle wheels, and rollin’ black water. It also mentions the Mississippi moon.


Okay, I can hear your questions. What do the Doobie Brothers have to do with a writing blog?

 

Well, it's not the Doobie's per se, although I do love their music, but it's the imagery invoked by the song. Floating on a raft on a large lazy river, the river banks gliding past quietly, the water still, but moving, an almost imperceptible current moving you along.

 

What is it that makes a book you can't put down? At the very heart of any manuscript, what is it that makes a particular story one of those where the pages begin to turn themselves and the chapters mysteriously fly by? It is that lazy, flowing river the wonderful Doobie Brothers describe.

 

"Huh?"

 

(I know that's what you're thinking, so I went ahead and stuck the word in there for you. You're welcome.)

 

When I work with writers, I tell them to imagine their readers' eyes as a raft on that languorous river, drifting along from word to word to word. That's what keeps a reader drawn into a story. You want to keep those eyes moving, sliding along word to word, sentence to sentence, chapter to chapter. You want your manuscript to flow like a river, just pulling the reader along.

 

What you DO NOT want are rocks in your river. You don't want boulders with their plumes of white water that will spin your raft out of control. You don't want submerged logs just under the surface that will catch and flip your raft. And you definitely don't want to run up on a dam stretching across the river from bank to bank.

 

One example of rocks in our manuscript river is the exclamation mark! Even worse are multiple exclamation marks!!!!! What happens when you read an exclamation mark? Your eyes stop. The flow stops. You hit a rock. It is far better to DESCRIBE whatever you are exclaiming about than to lazily use an exclamation mark.

 

Robert Ludlum, the creator of super-spy Jason Bourne, was in love with the exclamation mark. It used to drive me insane trying to get drawn into his novels because he would throw exclamation marks at his manuscript like he was salting popcorn.

 

Other rocks might be unnecessarily complicated words or sentence structure. It might be an acronym or abbreviation. It might be stilted or out-of-place dialogue. It could be anything, really, that stops the reader. 

 

You aren't going to eliminate ALL the obstacles in our metaphorical river. Even I allow a writer two (but just two) exclamation marks in a work-in-process. However, the more rocks you can eliminate, the more you can keep your readers’ eyes gliding effortlessly from word to word, like a lazy flowing river.

 

"Old black water, keep on rollin' …"

 

(Photos courtesy of FreeDigitalPhotos.net and Baitong333 and Master isolated images.)

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You’re reading a book you can't put down? What makes that particular story one of those where the pages begin to turn themselves and the chapters mysteriously fly by? (Click to tweet.)

Kevin Spencer is a freelance writer and professional editor and is privileged to be a staff writer for Christian Devotions. He lives in Middle Tennessee with his beautiful wife Charlotte and his wonderful fourteen-year-old grandson Caleb. A former prodigal son, Kevin has been blessed beyond measure and lives a life far, far better than he deserves.